The Top Eight Idiots of 2004I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this
woman called in very upset because she caught her
little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no
need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down and at the end of the conversation
happened to mention that she gave her daughter some
ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told
her that she better bring her daughter into the
emergency room right away.
Number Two Idiot of 2004
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on
the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter
coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper
was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no
longer employed at Boeing.
Number Three Idiot of 2004
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to
rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch
and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in
this bag" While standing in line, waiting to give his
note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had
seen him write the note and might call the police
before he reached the teller's window. So he left the
Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his
note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and,
surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could
not accept his stickup note because it was written on
a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would
either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or
go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated,
the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank
of America.
Number Five Idiot of 2004
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in
the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
because I don't believe you are over 21. " The robber
said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and
gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and
agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the
Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police
and gave the name and address of the robber that he
got off the license. They arrested the robber two
hours later.
Idiot Number Six of 2004
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
"Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him.
Idiot Number Seven of 2004
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he
lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at
the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Oh, that smarts.
Idiot Number Eight of 2004
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported
that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti,
Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
walked away.
Please note that all of the above people are allowed
to vote (and produce offspring).
Mnogo dobro, samo ne znam odakle je ovo (primio sam kao mail). Ova prva svakako zasluzuje titulu, mada ni ostali nisu daleko.
sudo make me a sandwich
